I’m not demanding just slightly bossy.

We have a habit in our family of trying to eat our evening meals together. Now that the kitchen is complete, we are settling back down to this routine. I rush around trying to get everything on the table.
‘You’re all so demanding’ I mutter under my breath.
‘Not demanding, mummy, just slightly bossy.’ corrects my youngest son. I growl. Tonight my youngest son affirmed that he has decided he wants to become a toilet inspector.
It has been something that he has been interested in over the past eighteen months and (if I’m being truly honest) has actually been quite useful. He has developed a rating system from 0 to 10 whereby any toilet that he goes into is given a score based on cleanliness, security, degree of technical help etc. Apparently my bathroom is 10 (I think that is because I looked threateningly at him when he was deciding on the rating.) The top score goes to Japanese toilets (although he has never been in one) but he questionned my cousin at length and was impressed by the toilets that flushed themselves and the taps that turned on.

It never ceases to amaze me that when we took the kids to an art gallery in Venice, where millions of pounds worth of paintings hung on the walls about them all my youngest could talk about was that the toilets had automatic taps. The true usefulness of the toilet rating system is, when they score a very low mark, you know you need to hold on. We once had the misfortune to need the toilet in a bar in Turkey. After an attempt at asking for the tuvlet, which caused much laughter amongst the restaurant staff, my youngest and I were directed to an outside cubicle. There was a chicken inside the toilet.

Undaunted by this, one stood guard whilst the other went in. It was dark inside (the light didn’t work). Then as I emerged into the sunlight, there was a man outside with a bowl of oranges. My youngest was looking slightly confused as to why he should be there. We politely declined the oranges and then went in search of a wash basin, which we found on the other side of the field. I shuddered as we made our way back into the bar. ‘What rating would you give that then?’ Curiousity had got the better of me. My son looked pale.
‘A chicken, a man with oranges, the dark and a far away sink. I think it has to be zero.’

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~ by envisioningutopia on November 14, 2011.

One Response to “I’m not demanding just slightly bossy.”

  1. You have crazy kids!!

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