Is This BAD parenting?

I hit the shops for the first time today, since Christmas. I hate going to the shops and so, for me, I love it when they are shut. I wasn’t doing anything exciting, just getting some foodie bits in. What I hate about shopping are young children in the supermarkets. The squawky ones You see their down-beaten mothers, looking over tired and unhappy and I feel genuinely sorry for them. I made the same mistake myself. However, I do have a good tip for getting the little blighters to behave. Though I’m not sure Social Services would approve. My solution came to me in a flash of light seven years ago, when my youngest was two. He had not allowed me to sleep since he was born and I was convinced that somewhere upon him was the mark of the devil (666). Damien Omen eat your heart out. I had already taken him to the doctors’ and asked if they would just put him back inside me. They refused, so I hit the supermarket and the inevitable tantrums that accompanied it. It was a pure eureka moment. I spied Customer Services.
‘If you don’t behave, I will take you back to the shop where I bought you from.’ I threatened.
‘You wouldn’t’ the little blighter retorted. Fingers crossed I walked over to Customer Services. As I waited in the queue, I rifled through my bag looking for a receipt. I waved it at my son.
‘See I still have the receipt.’ He didn’t look worried. Here goes for nothing.
The lady behind the counter smiled.
‘Excuse me, I’ve come to bring my son back. He’s still under warranty. I have the receipt. You see it said on the box when I bought him that he was a quiet and well-behaved model. Alas it seems that he has developed a fault and I would like a new one.’ My youngest’s face went pale. To my delight the shop assistant played along. She took the receipt from me and examined it and then pretended to examine my son.
‘Mmmm, I see what you mean. Well I assume you need to do some shopping in our store. If he isn’t working properly by then, then certainly we shall take him back.’
It was the best two weeks I ever had. Not a foot out of line.

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~ by envisioningutopia on December 30, 2011.

One Response to “Is This BAD parenting?”

  1. Haha – that is awesome! I work in a supermarket and if I had a parent say that to me I would so play along.

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