you’re not helping mum

Sometimes it’s not helpful having a mum as a Psychologist. I feel for my children. If it makes them feel any better it was worse having a vet for a mum. If we were ill, she would say.
‘Now what would I do if you were a dog.’ To be honest, I had seen what she had to do to some dogs and I’m sure that I would have been put into care if she had tried it on me. If we were very ill, she’d always say
‘If you were a dog…..’
‘You’d put us down.’ We would chorus, then cough, splutter and choke.
It was only recently that it struck me how bizarre my childhood must seem to an outsider. Somehow in one Psychology class we got on to the subject of childhood experiences. (It was relevant). I told them how I remembered assisting my mum in the veterinary surgery. When I was seven, I used to hold the old animals, whilst she put them down. There was silence in the class.
‘You were seven?’
It never struck me as strange at all. Neither did it my mum, until I turned to her one day and accused her of killing a dog. She said that I seemed upset and then realised that it was perfectly natural for me to be so.
As a result I am aware of how I am with my children, though sometimes I get it horribly wrong.
The other week Thomas was talking about jet lag, as we were being tested by Alex as to the capital of Mauritius and countries that I had never heard of.
‘I wonder why jet lag happens.’ He said.
Off I went into Psychology mode.
‘Well it’s because your exogenous zeitgebers are not in synch with your endogenous pacemakers.’ I was about to enlighten them all about the role of the suprachiasmatic nucleus, when I noticed my audience did not look particularly interested, or impressed.
A few days later Thomas went into hormonal teenager mode. Apparently life wasn’t fair. He hated it. He wished he had never been born and it was all my fault. Eventually I narrowed it down to the fact that he had put his password into the computer and it hadn’t worked. A great example of catastrophising an event. Off I went into cognitive Psychology mode, wondering where his irrational thought patterns had come from. I would need to challenge them and then replace them with more logical thought processes. I could see Thomas looking at me as though I was mad. At least it took his mind the password problem.

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~ by envisioningutopia on May 8, 2012.

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