I’m sorry I don’t speak binary!

Okay, what is it with electronic equipment, that when you don’t really use it, it works fine, but when faced with a real emergency, it packs up. For the first time for months, I decided to invite some friends round for a ‘Fright Night’ film session. 3 days beforehand the DVD packs up. I mentioned it to the technical expert in our family and he showed no interest whatsoever.
‘Okay, if you won’t do anything about it. I will.’
‘No, no, no.’ he replied shaking in fear. Oh what power there is in being completely incompetent. You see he knows what will happen if he lets me loose in an electronic store like Maplin.
Yes I am that irritating person who goes in to the shop with what I want written on a piece of paper and wordlessly hand it to the shop assistant. I cannot speak in code. I prefer to use words. I do not like interacting with people whose idea of an intimate conversation is using e mail. One of most memorable interactions with a person in an electronic store, (excuse the stereotype but he did stink of body odour) was when I went in with said piece of paper. Hoping for no interaction at all.
‘Do you want a male or female?’ He asked.
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘Do you want a male or female one of these?’
I laughed because I thought he was joking. I really didn’t know that these techie types actually sex electronic equipment. I suppose it makes them feel as though they have some chance with the opposite sex (sorry that was uncalled for and bitchy). Anyhow, I didn’t know there were 2 sexes of these things.
‘I’ll have a male and a female. Then I won’t need to buy any more cos they’ll have babies.’
I could tell he wasn’t impressed.
Another time I had to take into account whether what I was buying was compatible with our computer. I said
‘ubuntu’ to the man, because that is what my husband told me to say. There was a lot of excited chatter amongst the techies. They obviously thought I knew what I was talking about.
‘Please’ I begged ‘I don’t know what your saying I just want the equipment that is compatible. I really don’t care how it works, so long as it does.’
They all scowled and I felt guilty for not sharing in their technical enthusiasm.
I have them well trained now. They take my paper. If they have questions I call my husband and they speak to him and they leave me alone. Needless to say the DVD had been replaced. I’m just hoping for the same success with the printer.


~ by envisioningutopia on May 27, 2012.

4 Responses to “I’m sorry I don’t speak binary!”

  1. That was an excellent post today. Thanks for sharing. I really enjoyed it very much.

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