I dare you to forget!

One of the agreements that I have with my eldest son, is that he texts me when he gets to school and texts me when he gets home. He has now been at school for 6 days and has only managed to remember to text me about getting to school three times. To be fair, he does then text me twice on the way home, to make up for it. But as I pointed out, that is not the point.
I tried to appeal to his sense of empathy.
‘Think how I feel. I think that you have been brutally murdered and are lying in a ditch.’
He rolled his eyes.
I tried a more practical approach.
‘If you think about it, it takes one minute of your time to text me. However, it takes five minutes of mine and the school administrator’s time (10 minutes total) to check that you have got there.’
This didn’t seem to work either. So I resorted to what I know best – cruelty.
‘Let’s put it this way, if you ever forget to text me that you have arrived at school, I shall think that you are too young to walk there by yourself. I shall walk you to school and I shall be so overjoyed at spending more time with you that I shall skip alongside you. If it’s a nice day, I might even wear my bikini.’
He went a satisfying pale colour.
‘What is more, if that does not work, I will believe that you are too young to be at secondary school and I shall join you there and hold your hand all day.’
‘I’ll run away and hide.’ He retorted.
‘Handcuffs Thomas. I wouldn’t want to lose you and what is more I will borrow our neighbour’s Elvis costume and to boost your self esteem I will tell you all day how ‘lovey, wovey’ you are and you are my ‘besty, westy’ boy.
‘They wouldn’t let you do that.’ His voice shook.
‘Well thanks to your incompetence Tom, I am now on first name terms with the school administrator. We have bonded in our concern for your safety. I’m sure she’ll see it my way.’
‘Oh God you would as well.’ he said. He knows I would.
The next day, I was interested to see what would happen. In the end, he asked if I would give him a lift in the car and confirmed that as I had dropped him off, he wouldn’t need to text!

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~ by envisioningutopia on September 13, 2012.

2 Responses to “I dare you to forget!”

  1. Parenting at its best!

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