Do not sleep! Do not dream!

I feel my eyelids droop and for the brief release I have, I am eternally grateful. A snippet of sleep, though I dare not grasp it for long. I jump to my feet and pace the room. A routine that I have employed for five days now. I was lucky to escape last time. A luck that I do not want to test. As I pace, up and down, up and down, my limbs no longer feel like mine. I haul their dead weight across my living room and back. The room is icy cold. I dare not put the heating on in case it lulls me to my doom. I break the routine and bend down to put the stereo on. I almost lose my balance and fall to the floor. If this should happen, I would lose my battle. Heavy metal music assaults my ears and I dance frantically about, head-banging and jumping in a futile attempt to stay awake. But my body does not want to dance, my arms hang by my side, my breathing slows.
‘No!’ I scream. ‘No, keep going! You have to win.’ I shout.
My neighbour bangs on the wall.
‘Don’t you understand?’ I yell at the wall. ‘Don’t you get it? Have you not been infected?’
Muffled obscenities are the sole reply.
My knees give way and sink into the enticing carpet. My hands follow suit, begging my head to join them in their soft bed.
‘No.’ I groan. I wrench my hand back and turn up the volume of the music. My neighbour bangs the wall and hollers. I haul myself up the wall and on to my feet, pushing myself away, so that I do not fall asleep against it.
‘Dance!’ I scream. ‘Dance! Dance! Dance!’
I hurl myself around the room. My heart begins to race. I am safe once more.

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~ by envisioningutopia on January 5, 2013.

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